"Two weeks, that's all it took, two weeks to fall for you."
I haven't written anything on here in awhile. I've been so busy juggling two jobs, friends, church, my health, and now a new relationship.
I have jumped into this crazy, oh so amazing, funfilled relationship with Mister Todd Wallace (TC for short). I met him through a friend about 2 months ago and I have fallen so fast for him. Some people think that I have jumped into a relationship too fast. Others say, "wow! You didn't stay single for long." I get that a lot right now. It's been almost 4 months since Steven and I broke off our engagement. It's still hard. It's probably always going to be hard with everything we went through and everything I went through afterwards. TC just came into my life at the right moment.
Those 2 months that Steven and I were broken up before I met TC, were absolutely awful. I would be fine one moment and then be bawling my eyes out the second. I was a wreck. I didn't know how to feel. Everything happened so fast, just ripped away from me. It felt like my heart was ripped out and stomped on. I was depressed, sad, stunned, and numb. My anxiety killed me every day. Sometimes, I'd just feel emotionless. And then came my miscarriage and all of these emotions came at me at once. I felt like giving up. I felt hopeless and helpless, abandoned, disappointed, sick to my stomach, embarrassed, and ashamed. So many people were there for me, but it felt like no one was there....because there wasn't anyone who could relate to me. No one at all. So I just put a smile on my face, acted like nothing was wrong, kept it all bottled up inside, and would break down behind closed doors where no one was around. I felt like I would never move on from Steven. I loved him, he was my whole world and so much more. I would pace my house and wonder if I'd ever be ever to move on from this horrible spot in my life. It felt like a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from
But then I met TC and quickly, all of those emotions just seemed to fade away. I woke up from my nightmare. And it's not that I needed a guy in my life to be happy. I slowly became happy and slowly got out of those waves that came crashing down on me. And I did that without a man in my life. I became stronger, more independent. I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I went out with friends and had a blast. I was so blinded and so fed up with everything. I could go out without a fuss by anyone. I was free in a way.
TC treats me like I have been wanting to be treated for a very long time. I was tired of all these guys either only wanting one thing from me, holding me back from so many things, controlling my every move, keeping me from my friends, and not treating me like I needed to be treated. Todd is so different. He's not a little boy who tries to impress me with things, who puts on a front for everyone including me, who says one thing and does another, who sneaks behind my back. No he's none of those things. He keeps promises he makes, he makes me feel special, and he treats me like no other man has ever treated me. Because I was never with a man in the first place before...but now I am.
I have fallen in love with this man. He knows about my past, my health, and everything I went through with Steven and after Steven. He knows everything. I promised myself when Steven and I broke up that if and when I get back into a relationship, there won't be any secrets. I kept secrets from Steven about my past but I eventually told him about them. But with TC, I didn't. I felt comfortable telling him these things. And if he walked away from me because of it, so be it. But he didn't.
When it comes to dating, TC likes to keep it old fashioned and go out on 3 dates before he decides to make it officially in a relationship. And being the impatient person that I am, I was surprisingly patient and okay with that.
On our first "meet and greet" (as TC calls it), he came into Lizard's Thicket where I work, and sat at the table that I ALWAYS sit at when I eat there. I thought that was pretty cool. The whole time he sat there, I didn't know him. But I kept telling my friend Alana who I work with, "I know that guy that is sitting there from SOMEWHERE, but I don't know where." He came up to the register, I rang him up, told him to have a great night, and he went on his merrily way. He then texted me and said, "I was just in Lizard's Thicket." I said, "no you weren't!" He said, "yeah, you just rang me up." I said, "OMG! I feel like a bitch now." lol! He then came to Alana's house and we hung out and just talked.
On our first date, he took me to Grecian Gardens. I loved that he picked that (even if I don't like greek food all that much. Probably because my mom's boyfriend cooks it all the time lol). We sat there and just talked and laughed and instantly, I felt comfortable. Afterwards, we sat in the back of his Jimmy, smoked a cig, and talked so more. I learned very quickly that he is a super hero, anime, and video game freak lol. We were talking about the Avengers and how my brother, Dakota, would not stop bugging me about going to see that movie and how he would absolutely KILL me if I saw it before him. So, TC and I decided we would go to the movies to see it. But of course, we get to the movies and were 30 minutes late to see it. So instead, we went to Wings N Ale. He taught me how to shoot pool the RIGHT way, how to be patient with it, and all the rules to go with it. He was a great teacher ;) We played putt-putt on the little video gaming systems they had and TC won me these little figurines and candy from a claw machine. He learned how impatient of a person I am very quickly. I get that from my daddy big time.
Our second date, we went to Ale House out in Harbison and listened to karaoke and just sat there and talked. I met his friend AJ and then soon realized that I had already known AJ from some friends a couple years back. After Ale House, we went to AJs house and hung out. I met their friend Hammer and he cracked me up the whole night.
On our third date, we went to what used to be The Dam Bar and Grill (now it's Bentley Beach House). We hung out there with AJ and a couple of girls AJ met. We then went back to AJs house and played this card game called Circle of Death (last time I played that game was when I actually met AJ the first time at my friends' birthday after party). This was the same night TC and I first kissed (thanks to the good ole card of Queen). The next morning, I was sitting in Star Bucks and TC sent me a cute little text saying, "good morning beautiful." like he always does. And we made it oficial that we were boyfriend and girlfriend. It was cute, shut up! lol!
So here I type. 2:30 in the morning and I cannot sleep because I'm so happy. Happy with the man of my dreams! How did I get so lucky? What did I do to deserve such a good man? I could feel God tell me to just be patient and He'd get me out of the rut that I was in. I listened, did things to make ME happy, and it all fell into place. "You can't make anyone happy until you make yourself happy first." And that's exactly what I did. And I wouldn't trade this for the world.
People ask me if I miss Steven. And the answer is yes and no. I miss the person he was. The person he was when we first started dating and the person he was when we were living together at his parents house and the person he was when he proposed to me. I don't miss the person he became. The person who was short, demanding, controlling, whiny, secretive, and untrustworthy. I'll always have a special place in my heart for Steven. I will always love him. I had a part of him inside me physically and emotionally. I had a part of him growing inside me at one part of time. That love will never go away. That's one thing that TC understands the most. He understands that I will always love Steven. I will always have a part of him in my heart at all times. And I will always hold a special spot in my heart for him. That's what I love about TC. He doesn't get jealous, but he's protective. He doesn't bombard me or blow my phone up, but he worries about me when I'm away from him. He doesn't get frustrated with me when I have these nasty convulsions. He takes care of me already. And the only thing he demands from me is to put my family and friends first and him second.
"I know you don't like when people worry about you, but babe, I'm gonna worry about you because I love you. I came into this relationship knowing and understanding that you have seizures. Does it scare me a little and worry me? Yes. Does it scare me off? Not at all. It's just something we have to deal with and learn how to handle and control them so you don't have to go through them anymore. And I'll be there to help you get through it in any way I can, but you have to let me in. You have to talk to me, tell me everything you're feeling emotionally and physically, and you have to trust me in order for me to get you through it. Don't walk away or push me away. I'm not going anywhere, babe, and I'm definitely not gonna leave you because I love you." - TC
I love you TC, to the moon and back, pinky swear and lock it! <3
I haven't written anything on here in awhile. I've been so busy juggling two jobs, friends, church, my health, and now a new relationship.
I have jumped into this crazy, oh so amazing, funfilled relationship with Mister Todd Wallace (TC for short). I met him through a friend about 2 months ago and I have fallen so fast for him. Some people think that I have jumped into a relationship too fast. Others say, "wow! You didn't stay single for long." I get that a lot right now. It's been almost 4 months since Steven and I broke off our engagement. It's still hard. It's probably always going to be hard with everything we went through and everything I went through afterwards. TC just came into my life at the right moment.
Those 2 months that Steven and I were broken up before I met TC, were absolutely awful. I would be fine one moment and then be bawling my eyes out the second. I was a wreck. I didn't know how to feel. Everything happened so fast, just ripped away from me. It felt like my heart was ripped out and stomped on. I was depressed, sad, stunned, and numb. My anxiety killed me every day. Sometimes, I'd just feel emotionless. And then came my miscarriage and all of these emotions came at me at once. I felt like giving up. I felt hopeless and helpless, abandoned, disappointed, sick to my stomach, embarrassed, and ashamed. So many people were there for me, but it felt like no one was there....because there wasn't anyone who could relate to me. No one at all. So I just put a smile on my face, acted like nothing was wrong, kept it all bottled up inside, and would break down behind closed doors where no one was around. I felt like I would never move on from Steven. I loved him, he was my whole world and so much more. I would pace my house and wonder if I'd ever be ever to move on from this horrible spot in my life. It felt like a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from
But then I met TC and quickly, all of those emotions just seemed to fade away. I woke up from my nightmare. And it's not that I needed a guy in my life to be happy. I slowly became happy and slowly got out of those waves that came crashing down on me. And I did that without a man in my life. I became stronger, more independent. I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I went out with friends and had a blast. I was so blinded and so fed up with everything. I could go out without a fuss by anyone. I was free in a way.
TC treats me like I have been wanting to be treated for a very long time. I was tired of all these guys either only wanting one thing from me, holding me back from so many things, controlling my every move, keeping me from my friends, and not treating me like I needed to be treated. Todd is so different. He's not a little boy who tries to impress me with things, who puts on a front for everyone including me, who says one thing and does another, who sneaks behind my back. No he's none of those things. He keeps promises he makes, he makes me feel special, and he treats me like no other man has ever treated me. Because I was never with a man in the first place before...but now I am.
I have fallen in love with this man. He knows about my past, my health, and everything I went through with Steven and after Steven. He knows everything. I promised myself when Steven and I broke up that if and when I get back into a relationship, there won't be any secrets. I kept secrets from Steven about my past but I eventually told him about them. But with TC, I didn't. I felt comfortable telling him these things. And if he walked away from me because of it, so be it. But he didn't.
When it comes to dating, TC likes to keep it old fashioned and go out on 3 dates before he decides to make it officially in a relationship. And being the impatient person that I am, I was surprisingly patient and okay with that.
On our first "meet and greet" (as TC calls it), he came into Lizard's Thicket where I work, and sat at the table that I ALWAYS sit at when I eat there. I thought that was pretty cool. The whole time he sat there, I didn't know him. But I kept telling my friend Alana who I work with, "I know that guy that is sitting there from SOMEWHERE, but I don't know where." He came up to the register, I rang him up, told him to have a great night, and he went on his merrily way. He then texted me and said, "I was just in Lizard's Thicket." I said, "no you weren't!" He said, "yeah, you just rang me up." I said, "OMG! I feel like a bitch now." lol! He then came to Alana's house and we hung out and just talked.
On our first date, he took me to Grecian Gardens. I loved that he picked that (even if I don't like greek food all that much. Probably because my mom's boyfriend cooks it all the time lol). We sat there and just talked and laughed and instantly, I felt comfortable. Afterwards, we sat in the back of his Jimmy, smoked a cig, and talked so more. I learned very quickly that he is a super hero, anime, and video game freak lol. We were talking about the Avengers and how my brother, Dakota, would not stop bugging me about going to see that movie and how he would absolutely KILL me if I saw it before him. So, TC and I decided we would go to the movies to see it. But of course, we get to the movies and were 30 minutes late to see it. So instead, we went to Wings N Ale. He taught me how to shoot pool the RIGHT way, how to be patient with it, and all the rules to go with it. He was a great teacher ;) We played putt-putt on the little video gaming systems they had and TC won me these little figurines and candy from a claw machine. He learned how impatient of a person I am very quickly. I get that from my daddy big time.
Our second date, we went to Ale House out in Harbison and listened to karaoke and just sat there and talked. I met his friend AJ and then soon realized that I had already known AJ from some friends a couple years back. After Ale House, we went to AJs house and hung out. I met their friend Hammer and he cracked me up the whole night.
On our third date, we went to what used to be The Dam Bar and Grill (now it's Bentley Beach House). We hung out there with AJ and a couple of girls AJ met. We then went back to AJs house and played this card game called Circle of Death (last time I played that game was when I actually met AJ the first time at my friends' birthday after party). This was the same night TC and I first kissed (thanks to the good ole card of Queen). The next morning, I was sitting in Star Bucks and TC sent me a cute little text saying, "good morning beautiful." like he always does. And we made it oficial that we were boyfriend and girlfriend. It was cute, shut up! lol!
So here I type. 2:30 in the morning and I cannot sleep because I'm so happy. Happy with the man of my dreams! How did I get so lucky? What did I do to deserve such a good man? I could feel God tell me to just be patient and He'd get me out of the rut that I was in. I listened, did things to make ME happy, and it all fell into place. "You can't make anyone happy until you make yourself happy first." And that's exactly what I did. And I wouldn't trade this for the world.
People ask me if I miss Steven. And the answer is yes and no. I miss the person he was. The person he was when we first started dating and the person he was when we were living together at his parents house and the person he was when he proposed to me. I don't miss the person he became. The person who was short, demanding, controlling, whiny, secretive, and untrustworthy. I'll always have a special place in my heart for Steven. I will always love him. I had a part of him inside me physically and emotionally. I had a part of him growing inside me at one part of time. That love will never go away. That's one thing that TC understands the most. He understands that I will always love Steven. I will always have a part of him in my heart at all times. And I will always hold a special spot in my heart for him. That's what I love about TC. He doesn't get jealous, but he's protective. He doesn't bombard me or blow my phone up, but he worries about me when I'm away from him. He doesn't get frustrated with me when I have these nasty convulsions. He takes care of me already. And the only thing he demands from me is to put my family and friends first and him second.
"I know you don't like when people worry about you, but babe, I'm gonna worry about you because I love you. I came into this relationship knowing and understanding that you have seizures. Does it scare me a little and worry me? Yes. Does it scare me off? Not at all. It's just something we have to deal with and learn how to handle and control them so you don't have to go through them anymore. And I'll be there to help you get through it in any way I can, but you have to let me in. You have to talk to me, tell me everything you're feeling emotionally and physically, and you have to trust me in order for me to get you through it. Don't walk away or push me away. I'm not going anywhere, babe, and I'm definitely not gonna leave you because I love you." - TC
I love you TC, to the moon and back, pinky swear and lock it! <3
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